I’ve worked with clients as young as 29 who already feel completely drained.
It’s heartbreaking, and it’s made me ask myself: Why and how?
Why, by our mid-30s or 40s, do so many of us feel like we’re running on empty?
We’ve all heard people say, “I’m just so tired,” or “I feel drained,” and honestly, it’s becoming the norm.
But here’s the truth: burnout doesn’t come only from doing too much.
It comes from doing too much of the things that drain you.
Why Are We So Exhausted?
The society prioritizes external validation over authentic fulfillment.
Think about it—how many hours a day do you unconsciously spend seeking approval?
Whether it’s through social media, work performance, or trying to meet someone else’s expectations, this constant pursuit is emotionally and physically exhausting.
Despite having access to the most advanced technology, endless resources, and information, many of us feel worse than ever—dragging ourselves home, collapsing on the couch, and feeling utterly disconnected.
Burnout isn’t just about overwork; it’s about misalignment.
It’s about spending your energy on things that don’t resonate with your values, passions, or strengths.
The Emotional Signals of Burnout
Burnout is more than just feeling tired—it’s your body and emotions screaming for attention.
It’s a signal that something is fundamentally misaligned.
When you’re engaged in work or activities that go against who you truly are, you experience a constant internal struggle. This disconnection can show up as:
- Chronic fatigue
- Emotional numbness
- Physical ailments like chronic pain or even serious conditions
Our emotions are designed to guide us.
Fatigue and burnout are emotional signals telling you, “This is not for me.”
Ignoring them isn’t just harmful—it’s a fast track to feeling stuck, sick, or even completely burned out.
What Fuels You vs. What Drains You
Have you ever been so immersed in something you love that you lost track of time?
You feel energized, motivated, and alive. After those energized moments, people often say: “I feel like I could climb the highest mountain!”
On the other side are all the activities and interactions that leave you feeling extremely tired, agitated, frustrated, and angry.
That’s the difference between activities that fuel you and those that drain you.
When you align with your values and passions, you access a deeper well of energy.
But when you’re disconnected from your true self, even small tasks can feel like a mountain to climb.
How Burnout Starts: The Misalignment Trap
According to a recent SHRM survey, 44% of U.S. employees reported feeling burned out at work in 2024, with many also feeling emotionally drained and “used up” at the end of the workday; this data highlights a significant level of burnout currently experienced by the workforce.
In Europe, the numbers are a little bit lower around 33%, but regardless of this slight difference in the percentage, that’s a horrifying statistic.
Burnout isn’t just about long hours or demanding workloads.
It’s about living in a way that doesn’t honor your values, needs, and emotional well-being.
When you live out of alignment, everything feels harder.
You’re constantly pushing against the grain, trying to make things work, but it’s like running a marathon with no finish line.
The Key to Overcoming Burnout: Living Authentically
The solution isn’t to do less—it’s to do what matters.
Of course, months, sometimes a year or two after recognized burnout, mean doing less, as the body will need a lot of rest. (I suffered a life burnout in the summer of 2018). Give it to yourself!
After the initial burnout recovery, your energy levels will go back, and if you start living a life aligned with your values, passions, and strengths, your energy levels will skyrocket.
As an authenticity and emotions coach, I help clients reconnect with their true selves, addressing the root causes of burnout, not just the symptoms.
In our sessions, we explore:
- Your core values: What truly matters to you?
- Emotional awareness: Understanding the signals behind your exhaustion.
- Boundaries and communication: Saying no to what drains you and yes to what fuels you.
- Self-compassion: Learning to listen to yourself with kindness instead of criticism.
When you live authentically, you stop wasting energy on things that don’t align with who you are—and that’s where the real transformation happens.
How to Break Free from Burnout: Key Strategies
- Journal About Your Energy Levels
Take 3-5 minutes, 3-4 times a day, to check in with yourself.
Write down how you’re feeling, what’s happening in your environment, and what might have influenced your energy.
Journaling helps you identify patterns and pinpoint what’s draining or fueling you. - Discover Your Values
Understanding your core values is a game-changer.
Take my FREE 15-minute Identify Your Values Masterclass to uncover what truly matters to you.
It’s a quick, powerful tool to reconnect with your authentic self and a starting point of making aligned choices. - Recognize the Unmet Needs Behind Emotions
Emotions are signals.
When you feel frustration, sadness, or overwhelm, it’s often a sign of an unmet need.
For example:- Feeling frustrated might indicate a need for appreciation or control.
- Sadness might reflect a need for connection or acknowledgment.
- Overwhelm could mean you need rest or support.
Understanding these needs can help you make adjustments that restore balance.
- Practice Self-Compassion
Burnout thrives on self-criticism.
Flip the script by showing yourself grace and kindness.
Download my Mini Guide on Self-Compassion to learn how to stop the cycle of harsh self-judgment and start the healing process. - Communicate Boundaries with Respect
Setting boundaries doesn’t have to feel confrontational.
Approach these conversations with clarity and empathy:- Start with “I” Statements: Share how certain situations affect you.
For example, “I feel overwhelmed when I have to stay late at work without notice.” - Be Specific: Clearly state what you need, such as, “I need at least 24 hours’ notice for extra tasks.”
- Offer Alternatives: If appropriate, suggest compromises or solutions.
Respectful boundaries strengthen relationships while protecting your energy.
- Start with “I” Statements: Share how certain situations affect you.
- Schedule Time for Yourself
Book 30-60 minutes each week in your calendar as a non-negotiable appointment with yourself.
Use this time to:- Work on a passion project.
- Explore a new hobby.
- Recharge by doing nothing at all.
If you feel too drained to dive into passions, focus on rest and self-care first.
Recharging is just as valuable as creating.
Burnout Is a Wake-Up Call
Burnout is not a failure—it’s a message.
It’s your body and emotions telling you to stop, reassess, and realign.
Living authentically isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity.
When you reconnect with your values, honor your emotions, and align with your passions, you create a life that energizes you instead of draining you.
If you’re ready to shift from exhaustion to empowerment, consider working with a coach who understands the journey. Together, we can uncover what’s behind your exhausting and dissatisfaction and create a path to a more energized and fulfilling life.