Why is it that by our mid-30s or 40s, so many of us feel like we’re running on empty?
We’ve all heard people say things like:
- “I’m just so tired.”
- “I feel drained.”
- “I don’t have energy for anything.”
And yet, this has become the norm. But here’s the truth:
Burnout isn’t just about doing too much. It comes from doing too much of the things that truly drain you.
Why Are We So Exhausted?
The world has a way of prioritizing external validation over authentic fulfillment.
Think about it—how many hours a day are spent unconsciously seeking approval?
Whether through social media, performance at work, or attempting to meet other people’s expectations, this constant pursuit is emotionally and physically exhausting.
Despite having endless technology and resources at our disposal, many people are more emotionally drained than ever—dragging themselves home, collapsing on the couch, and feeling completely disconnected.
Burnout isn’t just about working too much. It’s about misalignment.
Burnout Isn’t Just About Overwork: It’s Misalignment
Burnout comes from spending your energy on things that don’t align with your values, passions, or strengths.
It’s about dedicating time to tasks that you don’t enjoy, aren’t naturally good at, or simply don’t connect with your true self—because we all have our unique strengths and areas of growth.
This misalignment keeps your body and nervous system in constant (internal, silent) fight, like being in prolonged conflict.
And as with any fight, it demands immense energy, leaving you feeling utterly drained.
Signals of Burnout: What is Your Body Telling You?
Burnout is more than just feeling tired.
It’s your body and mind’s way of sending a signal.
These signs can manifest as:
- Chronic fatigue
- Emotional numbness
- Physical pain or chronic conditions
- Depression
- Panic attacks
Burnout is your body saying: “This isn’t for me. Please, do something!”
Ignoring these signals can lead to further exhaustion, illness, and deeper discontent.
What Fuels You vs. What Drains You?
Have you ever been so immersed in something you love that you lost track of time? You feel alive, motivated, and energized.
Conversely, the activities that leave you frustrated, tired, or angry are draining.
The difference is simple:
- Activities/relationships that fuel you are energizing.
- Activities/relationships that drain you leave you feeling depleted.
When you’re aligned with your true self, your values, and your passions, you tap into an internal wellspring of energy.
But when you’re disconnected from your authentic self, even the smallest of tasks can feel overwhelming.
How Burnout Starts: The Misalignment Trap
When you live a life out of alignment with your values, needs, and emotional well-being, it feels like running a marathon with no finish line.
Some of the reasons this happens include:
- Living for external expectations over internal desires.
- Neglecting emotional needs and boundaries.
- Constantly pushing against what doesn’t align with your true self.
Burnout isn’t just a workload problem. It’s a misalignment from your true self problem.
The Path to Overcoming or Preventing Burnout: Living Authentically
The solution isn’t always about doing less.
It’s about doing what matters—aligning with your values, passions, and strengths.
After recovering from burnout, the energy you’ll discover through this alignment can be life-changing.
I know this because I went through my burnout in the summer of 2018. It took two years to recover fully. But the recovery wasn’t just about rest (I gave plenty of it to myself too). It was about discovering who I am and changing my lifestyle to realign with new self-discoveries and what’s important to me.
As an authenticity and emotions coach, I help clients prevent and recover from burnout and live fulfilling, energized, joyful, and peaceful lives. How?
Deep self-discovery, setting goals, learning new tools, and practicing:
- Who you are: Your core values, strengths, and passions.
- What do you want: What kind of person do you want to be and what kind of life do you desire?
- Emotional awareness: What your emotions are trying to tell you.
- Boundaries: How to say no to what drains you and yes to what fuels you.
- Self-compassion: How to treat yourself with kindness instead of judgment.
When you live authentically, you start investing energy in things, relationships, and activities that align with your true self—and that’s when you start to feel easy, energized, and fulfilled.
Strategies to Prevent or Recover from a Burnout
Here are a few actionable practices to help you regain balance:
- Journal About Your Energy Levels:
Take 3–5 minutes a few times a day to write how you’re feeling and what might have influenced your energy. Identify the energy drainers and fillers in your life. - Identify Your Core Values:
Understanding what truly matters to you shifts your choices and priorities. It also makes decision-making easier. FREE 15-min Values Masterclass available here. - Recognize Your Unmet Needs:
Emotions like frustration, sadness, or overwhelm often indicate unmet emotional needs. Understanding what you need is the first step of self-care. - Practice Self-Compassion:
Self-criticism only fuels exhaustion and burnout. Flip the script by showing yourself grace and kindness. My 5 steps to Self-Compassion guide might help. - Communicate Your Boundaries:
Learn to set respectful boundaries to protect your energy while maintaining meaningful relationships. - Schedule Time for Yourself:
Book 60-120 minutes each week as an unmissable, non-negotiable appointment for your well-being.
Burnout Isn’t a Failure. It’s a Wake-Up Call.
Your emotions and body will tell you to stop, reassess, and realign.
Living authentically is no longer a luxury—it’s a necessity.
When you reconnect with your core values, emotions, and passions, you create a life that energizes you instead of drains you. If you’re ready to shift from exhaustion to empowerment, choose transformation.
Let’s uncover what’s been draining you and create a path toward a more energized, meaningful life.