For years, I was an expert at hiding.
My protective armor was meticulously crafted – a persona built from years of internal and external pressures, societal expectations, and deep-seated fears.
In relationships, especially intimate ones, I was a master of presenting a carefully curated version of myself.
Not my true self, but an unconsciously created persona designed to prevent potential hurt and keep me safe.
The irony?
By trying to protect myself, I was preventing the very connection I desperately craved.
As my dear therapist told me back in 2020: “Kora, by avoiding being hurt, you are hurting yourself.”
The Walls We Build
My fear of vulnerability was like an invisible fortress.
Each brick was a past hurt, disappointment, and the unconscious belief that showing my authentic self would lead to rejection (childhood wound of a father who left).
In romantic relationships, this meant:
- Hiding my true feelings
- Suppressing my needs
- Presenting only the “perfect” version of myself
- Avoiding deep emotional intimacy
These strategies felt like protection.
In reality, they were slowly suffocating my ability to truly connect.
The Turning Point
As I unpacked and understood the behavior that led me to pain and suffering, I was aware I had to act differently if I desired a different outcome.
It became clear that I needed to open up to people and the world if I wanted to be truly seen, accepted, and loved. And I wanted that, but my fears were stopping me.
At the beginning of my vulnerability journey, speaking my mind and heart was paralyzing.
I wasn’t able to look the person I was opening up to in the eyes. My whole body shrank, I looked like a well-dried raisin.
The fear of being rejected, if I spoke my mind and heart, consumed my whole body.
Of course, choosing to whom I am opening up was crucial.
So find people you trust deeply, who won’t “use” the feelings and thoughts you share to hurt or manipulate you.
With practice, I realized and experienced that vulnerability isn’t a weakness – it’s courage.
What Vulnerability Really Means
Vulnerability is:
- Showing up as your unedited self
- Admitting when you’re struggling
- Sharing your fears and thoughts without guaranteeing a positive outcome
- Risking emotional exposure
This is me. Not a perfect version, but a real, evolving human being.
It means saying: “Today I feel like sh*t, and I need a hug, not advice.” “I have been feeling down lately, and I need help.*”
The Transformative Power of Being Seen
When we choose vulnerability, we create space for genuine connection.
We invite others to see us, not just the version we think they want to see.
Vulnerability requires immense bravery.
In my coaching practice, I’ve witnessed incredible transformations when clients embrace vulnerability.
They shift from surviving to fully living – from protection to connection.
Practical Vulnerability: Small Steps, Big Changes
Start small:
- Share a genuine emotion (if you need help identifying or articulating an emotion, download a free wheel of emotions)
- Admit when you’re uncertain (we all make mistakes, and no one knows it all)
- Ask for help (I am sure you love to help and support others, allow others to do the same for you)
- Express a need without an apology (our needs are valid, we all have them)
As an authenticity coach, my mission is clear: support you in dropping the masks, confronting the fears, and stepping into your most authentic self.
Vulnerability isn’t about being completely open with everyone.
It’s about being courageously honest with those who have earned the right to hear your story, see you fully, and love you wholeheartedly.
Vulnerability is your superpower.
It’s the key to authentic you.
It is a road that leads from hiding and feeling lonely to a deep connection.
Are you ready to cross it?
