Ever wondered why some people seem to have an easier time finding love, building wealth, or feeling confident, while you keep struggling?
I certainly did!
You work hard, you try your best, and yet, relationships feel draining, jobs never seem to fulfill you, and no matter how much you achieve, you never feel enough.
Many of these struggles have a common, hidden root: a lack of self-worth.
Signs of a Low Self-Worth
Lack of self-worth is not always obvious.
You might be doing well on the outside while struggling deeply on the inside.
Here are some signs that your challenges may stem from this hidden cause:
- In Relationships: Settling for less, tolerating constant disrespect, or even abuse, constantly seeking validation, or feeling unlovable as you are.
- In Career: Overworking, undercharging, staying stuck in unfulfilling jobs, or fearing rejection and criticism.
- With Money: Feeling undeserving of wealth, impulsive spending for momentary happiness, or avoiding financial responsibility.
- With Self: Constant self-criticism, overthinking, struggling with boundaries, and never feeling ‘enough.’
My Personal Story: From Performing to Inherent Sense of Worthiness
For years, I struggled with self-worth in two major areas: work and relationships.
In my career, I was the classic overachiever.
I worked 12 to 14-hour days, driven by the need to perform, excel, and be the best.
Growing up, I learned that my mother’s praise and attention, which I mistakenly identified as love, were tied to my achievements: good grades, medals, and top results.
So I carried that belief into my adult life, where I thought my value came from giving and achieving.
It left me exhausted and empty.
But over time, I started to see the truth. I began to recognize my worth beyond my performance.
I learned to honor my strengths, knowledge, and capabilities without overworking.
Today, I work fewer hours, doing what I love, supporting others as a coach, while maintaining well-being and fulfillment.
My self-worth struggles also showed up in my romantic relationships.
For years, I believed I was unlovable, as I was, choosing partners who couldn’t love me unconditionally.
I found myself performing in relationships, people-pleasing, neglecting my own needs, and losing myself trying to keep others happy.
This pattern led me to complete burnout in the summer of 2018.
It was a wake-up call that forced me to look at the deep wounds that drove these behaviors.
How Lack of Self-Worth Creates Struggles
If you don’t believe you are worthy of love, respect, peaceful and healthy life, or success, you unconsciously create situations that confirm this belief.
This is why you may find yourself:
- Giving endlessly in relationships without receiving the same in return.
- Staying in jobs that drain you, afraid to ask for what you truly deserve.
- Avoiding opportunities, fearing failure, or judgment.
- Choosing short-term indulgences instead of prioritizing well-being
Self-worth is often confused with self-esteem, which relies on external factors such as successes and achievements to define worth and can often be inconsistent, leading to someone struggling with feeling worthy.
Self-worth is the internal sense of being valuable & deserving of respect, independent of external achievements or validation.
Self-worth is shaped by our personal experiences, perceptions, and core beliefs about ourselves.
How to Start Reclaiming Your Self-Worth
- Awareness: Begin by recognizing the hidden often limiting beliefs you carry about your value.
- Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness you offer others.
- Aligned Actions: Make choices that reflect your worth, say no when you mean it, ask for what you deserve, and set healthy boundaries.
- Healthy Environment: Seek out relationships where you are valued, and let go of those that make you feel less than. Even if they are your family, close friends, or partner.
- Partner with a professional: To shift your beliefs, perceptions, and start seeing your worth differently, partner with a therapist, coach or any other professional that will support you on your journey of building your worthiness.
Your Worth Is Inherent
Your worth is not something you earn.
It is not tied to how much you achieve, how well you perform, or how perfectly you please others.
Your worth is inherent, simply because you exist.
And the sooner you start believing this, the sooner you will stop struggling and start thriving.
