We’ve all heard the phrase, “You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
This powerful idea, credited to motivational speaker Jim Rohn, suggests that the people we surround ourselves with, and our environment overall play a defining role in who we are and who we become.
But why is this the case, and how does our environment impact us from early childhood to adulthood? Understanding the profound effect of our surroundings can help us make conscious choices that align with our values, goals, and authentic selves.
Let’s explore how our environment influences us, and why surrounding ourselves with positive, growth-minded people can be one of the most life-enhancing choices we make.
The Power of Environment from Childhood
From the time we are born, our environment begins to shape us.
Children have no choice in where or how they grow up, making early surroundings critical in forming their beliefs, behaviors, and worldviews. Here’s how:
- Learning Through Observation: As children, we learn by watching those around us. If we grow up in an environment that values kindness, resilience, and curiosity, we’re likely to internalize these qualities. Conversely, if we’re surrounded by criticism or limiting beliefs, these can become our inner voices.
- Inheriting Beliefs and Attitudes: Early environments pass down certain beliefs and perspectives. If parents or caregivers have specific views on success, failure, religion or relationships, children often carry these beliefs into adulthood. These learned patterns become part of our subconscious, shaping decisions even before we’re aware of them.
- Setting the Emotional Tone: Family dynamics and the energy within a household profoundly impact children. An environment filled with warmth, love, and open communication fosters emotional health and confidence. In contrast, households filled with negativity, conflict, or apathy may foster insecurities and self-doubt that last long into adulthood. The first step to transforming these patterns is to become aware of them and be willing to change.
The Impact of Environment on Adult Life
As adults, we gain the freedom to shape our environment.
However, many people don’t consciously choose who and what surrounds them, unaware of the profound impact these factors have.
Being intentional about our environment can create transformative change.
Here’s how it influences us:
- Becoming the “Average” of Five People: When we consistently spend time with certain people, we adopt their attitudes, energy, and even behaviors. If these people are uplifting, growth-oriented, positive, and supportive, we’re likely to become more optimistic and confident. But if they’re negative, limiting, or dismissive, they can hold us back. For instance, if four of your closest friends value health and exercise, you’re likely to adopt a similar view on fitness. Conversely, if your inner circle is critical or indifferent toward growth, it may feel impossible to prioritize self-improvement.
- The Influence of Physical Space: Beyond the people around us, our physical environment also impacts our mood, productivity, and motivation. Think about how energized you feel in a bright, organized room compared to a cluttered, dark space. Designing your space with intention, and choosing colors, lighting, and items that reflect who you want to be improves both mental and emotional well-being.
- Work Environment and Career Growth: Our work environment is one of the most significant influences in adulthood, shaping our ambitions, work ethic, and mental health. If you’re surrounded by a supportive team that values innovation, you’ll feel encouraged to push boundaries and take risks. But a toxic or stressful workplace can lead to burnout and low morale, influencing how you feel about yourself and your potential.
- Media and Information Diet: What we consume through media, social media, books, and news forms part of our “environment.” Regular exposure to inspiring, educational, or uplifting content can boost our mindset and broaden our perspective. In contrast, an unfiltered media diet can leave us feeling drained, anxious, or discouraged.
Choosing content with positive, growth-oriented topics greatly influences our mental, and emotional health and development.
Choosing an Environment That Nurtures Growth
Don’t forget, that we adults have the power to be intentional about who we spend time with.
Here are actionable ways to ensure your environment supports your growth and well-being:
- Audit Your Inner Circle: Reflect on the five people you spend the most time with.
Do they inspire you, or do they drain you? Look for people who challenge you, cheer on your goals, and align with your values. If you’re surrounded by negativity, fixed mindsets, or people stuck in the same problems or unhealthy habits, it might be time to step back and focus on those who inspire and uplift you. - Design Your Space with Purpose: Create a physical environment that inspires, and not drains you. Whether it’s adding plants, decluttering, or setting up a dedicated workspace, your surroundings can reinforce a positive mindset and make everyday routines more enjoyable.
- Seek Growth-Oriented Communities: Join groups, workshops, or online communities that align with your interests and encourage personal development. Engaging with like-minded people opens doors to new perspectives, ideas, and friendships that fuel your growth.
- Set Boundaries with Content: Be selective about the information you consume. Follow social media accounts that inspire positivity, and limit exposure to content that brings anxiety or self-doubt. Remember, you can “choose” your online environment just as you can your offline one.
- Engage in Regular Self-Reflection: To continually align your environment with your goals, make self-reflection a habit. Ask yourself, “Does my environment support the person I want to become?” “What am I tolerating in my closest environment?” Use journaling, reflection, or mindfulness practices to stay in tune with your needs.
Choose Your Environment, Shape Your Life
Our environment, from the people we interact with to the space we spend time in, holds incredible influence over who we are and how fast we can become who we want to be.
By choosing relationships, spaces, and influences that reflect our aspirations, we can create a life that feels authentic, fulfilling, and empowering.
If you’re finding it difficult to make these changes alone, a coach can provide invaluable support. A coach can help you identify which elements in your environment are holding you back and guide you in creating supportive and empowering influences.
Embrace the power of intentional choices, and take the first steps to create an environment that supports you in becoming the best version of yourself.